Frustrated to put it mildly

So I managed to revive the old pile of dung, but it is barely hanging in there. Still no new computer, but any day now...

I am writing in English, because not only is my pute literally almost not running at all, now it has also decided to get rid of all the Nordic special characters, along with a bunch of other special characters. Jeezz, I cannot begin to tell you how frustrating this is. But I have decided that this is not the end of the world. I will have patience and I will eventually have a new computer. And then, at last, I will be able to blog properly.

I have seen all your comments, and am greatly appreciative that you guys have not given up on me. I miss talking to you so much. I have so much to write about, that I fear there will not be enough space in the blogosphere for all that is swirling about in my head. One look at the news, for instance, sets off a loooong trail of thoughts and comments that I am dying to put down in writing, regardless of whether anyone is actually reading it. I just need to get them out of my system.

I have had a significant change in my private life, but it has sadly nothing to do with finding love or winning lottery-millions, or anything of that kind. But it feels like I have found love and it feels like I have won millions. It is something that has come from within and quite frankly without my even putting very much effort into it.

I think it all comes down to having been without access to a computer at nights. I have had plenty of time to take long and hard looks inside myself. I have come to a whole bunch of conclusions and out of those conclusions a plan has taken form. I suddenly know, and I really mean know KNOW, what it is that I want to happen in my future. And they are very realistic plans and instead of trying to rush things through in my usual manner, I have allowed myself to plan ahead with due time for everything. And wheras I used to get frustrated because things were not moving fast enough, I now find myself telling myself to go easy, to let things have their course of time, to let go of all that stress. I mean, we have enough stress from factors outside ourselves, how bad do things have to be to allow ourselves to stress ourselves from the inside?

I know I sound like a bloody Oprah-episode, but I do not mean to sound like that. I guess what I am really trying to say is, that I am so immensly sick and tired of being stressed all the time. I am tired of being tired, tired of constantly looking like a deer in headlights, tired of always having someplace to be, to have something to do, to plan to be able to stick to the plan. It is really quite insane the way life can be, the way we ALLOW life to be.

I hope you all are doing great and that the summer has been a good time for everyone. Again, I miss talking to you so much and I hope to see you soon again.

Loads of hugs!